


Shards of Space

by jonghyundroppedthesoap



Category: SHINee
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Barely any dialogue, Boys In Love, F/M, M/M, Metaphors, One Shot, References to Depression, Stars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-04 01:36:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13353768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jonghyundroppedthesoap/pseuds/jonghyundroppedthesoap
Summary: She had needed space, and although Jonghyun hadn't realised it at the time, so did he.





	Shards of Space

“ _I need space.”_

At the time, the meaning behind her gut-wrenching words had been an unintelligible jumble of nonsense. Jonghyun had tried, he really had, to separate himself from her and give what her heart so desired, but his attempts were to no avail and inevitably, she left without an ounce of sympathy adorning her pale blue eyes.

Life went on, albeit grudgingly, and day by day Jonghyun’s eyes became ridden with fiercer red lines and dark marks grew beneath his bottom lashes. Although she had needed the _space_ , Jonghyun found it proving to be quite difficult, and couldn’t seem to understand where her usually sane mind had been wandering as of late.

The dark, starless sky reflected Jonghyun’s dim mood, mocking his every action with its taunting nothingness and vast expanse of _space._ It was as though nothing could brighten the darkness which infected his every atom, and inexorably, Jonghyun fell into a void of impassive despair.

Those around Jonghyun wondered and pitied, but not once did they take another step forward in helping the young man. No one ever asked, nor risked offering Jonghyun an assisting hand. They merely watched from afar as the glint in his usually chocolate brown orbs faded to a dull, gloomy glare.

And then _he_ came.

Kibum. With his bright, gleaming grin and a constant sheen of stars decorating his feline eyes. In the beginning, Jonghyun had refused to even glance up and acknowledge the bubbly boy who seemed to yearn for his attention. He mustered all the strength he possibly could in an endeavour for Jonghyun to notice him, but his efforts were futile and Jonghyun’s arrogant, dismal façade only worsened.

Kibum’s liveliness seemed to mock Jonghyun’s own isolation, the departure of his previous lover having tainted Jonghyun’s compassionate heart too severely. His persistent badgering only proved to irritate Jonghyun’s short temper, and as the days proceeded at a mind boggling pace, Kibum’s seemingly infinite patience began to grow weary.

The _space_ between the two increased considerably as the clock ticked by, unfortunately going unnoticed by Jonghyun whose eyes always seemed to be preoccupied elsewhere. It wasn’t until that one fateful day on a breezy autumn afternoon when Jonghyun finally noticed.

A loud, distinctive weep emitted from beside him, disturbing his emotionless masquerade and eliciting his head to shoot up in subtle concern. His eyes were met with Kibum’s teary ones, a sheen of unshed water threatening to spill down his porcelain face. The sparkle of tears gleamed and shone, reflecting the stars in the sky and revealing a glimpse of the universe above.

With a hoarse, seldom used voice, Jonghyun asked him tentatively if he was alright. Kibum hurriedly wiped his tears away with the hem of his sleeve and pushed his glasses up his button nose. He sniffed haughtily and crossed his arms in an act of faux bravery.

“Of course I’m alright, you idiot. The real question is, are _you_ alright?”

Jonghyun blinked. When was the last time someone had asked him something so simple? Something so simple, yet so effective. He closed his eyes gently and merely pondered, reflecting on his state of mind and how he’d been feeling for the last few months. Silence draped around the two, hovering in mid-air for what seemed like an eternity before Jonghyun finally responded.

“I’m not.” he spoke simply. But as he looked into the younger’s shining orbs once again, he saw something flicker within them. Shards of the universe. Shards of _space._ He smiled gently. “But I think I might be getting better.”

Maybe, just maybe, Jonghyun fell a little in love that day.

Smiling began to prove easier for Jonghyun after that occurrence with him. Every time Kibum ran towards him and his hair rustled against the wind, he lessened the _space_ between them and etched a grin onto Jonghyun’s previously stoic face. Whenever his gaze lifted to look into Kibum’s churning, passionate chestnut eyes, another sense of the universe returned to Jonghyun. Another sense of the _space_ which had formerly been the cause of Jonghyun’s underlying depression. _Space_ had turned into something which instead left a pleasant, honey warmth in the pit of his stomach. Something that unlocked the cage to a swarm of bright, beautiful butterflies – unsettling, yet incredulously exciting.

And then he understood.

The reason for her departure hadn’t been the lack of distance he’d provided. It hadn’t been her desire for them to be further apart, to have a break. When she said she had needed _space,_ she hadn’t been alluding to the idea that they were too close, that things were happening too fast. She’d been alluding to what he has now. An infinite supply of the universe. An infinite supply of the stars when he looked into Kibum’s alluring brown eyes.

Jonghyun hadn’t provided that for her, and perhaps when she stared into his near onyx eyes she merely saw fondness. Not a head over heels infatuation. Not the sense that they were _in_ love. But merely a great affection, a friendly love. And now Jonghyun knew. Her mind had been wandering in all the right places. Because she had needed to see _space_ when she looked into her lover’s eyes. She had needed to grasp onto every star that glimmered when the reflection shone on their face. She had needed _space._

And although Jonghyun hadn’t realised at the time, so did he. He had Kibum. He had the universe. He had _space._

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoyed!  
> Honestly, after Jonghyun's passing I haven't been able to write much about him, so this is one of my old fics and has previously been posted on other websites. I'm slowly getting better, and will hopefully be posting some new SHINee content soon.   
> Feel free to leave a review, constructive criticism is always welcome.


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